Written on October 18, 2026
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This was the second survey I did today, after a few hours of the first one, which was shorter and more topical.
It came about because I thought of this phrase:
It’s better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.
We’ve almost all heard that phrase, but I wondered if it was true.
Results
| # | % | |
|---|---|---|
| Loved & Lost | 123 | 77% |
| Never Loved | 37 | 23% |
I had to clarify to several people that this question is only about romantic love.
Discussions
Most people who said it’s better to have loved and lost, said that the positive experience outweighs the pain.
An old woman said she lost her husband to old age, and they were married for many decades, and that it was still worth it.
Most people who said Never Loved simply said the pain isn’t worth it.
One person said that the experience of having loved and lost that love builds character.
Several people did not understand the question, and thought that “loved & lost” meant losing yourself.
Many people said that love is the greatest thing you can experience in this life, and that missing out on it would be a tragedy.
The assistant
A young man came up to me early on, when the results were about tied.
He didn’t take the survey itself, but asked many questions about how and why I was doing it. He seemed particularly interested in understanding my methodology.
After a little while he left, and after an hour or two he came back. This time, he stayed for much longer.
He told me he was a university student from California, studying computer science. He said that he owns a robotics company.
At one point, I needed to relight my cigar, so he offered to hold the sign for me. Having talked with him for long enough, I trusted him to do it for a minute or two. When people came up to him to do the survey, he even asked why they marked what they did.
So if you saw this young man with me, that’s who he was and is, as far as I know.
He was texting with his sister, and told me he was supposed to get coffee with her. Eventually she came by, too, while he was holding the sign.
I told him he was very odd, and he thanked me. This reminded me of a scene from Donnie Darko, another excellent film that few people seem to know. But Jake Gyllenhaal said that, to this day, Donnie Darko is still his favorite film he’s ever done.
He was very philosophical in the best kind of way. I very much appreciated our entire conversation.
The protestant
Near the very end, three people came up to me, a couple, and a very “joyful” young man. They asked a few more questions than people typically do about my survey, why I’m doing it, and what I think.
When I asked him what he thought of love, he first said he thinks love is dying for someone else. Then he said it’s about being patient, which I said was like microdosing dying for someone else, but he was talking more than listening, so he didn’t hear it. Then he said it’s about being kind, at which point I realized he was just quoting 1 Corinthians 13.
I called him out, saying, “oh, so you’re a Christian.” He said, “so then you know the Lord?” I said, “obviously you’re a protestant.” He laughed a little and said, “how can you tell?”
We didn’t get to talking too much, but in retrospect, one of the most obvious clues, was his feigned and counterfeit “joy”.
I’ve seen this countless times among “devout” “Christians”, this effected joy, which in reality is actually giddiness, imitated from predecessors (in my opinion, going back to Eve), in an attempt to mask their underlying fear of death.
Protestants inherently fear death, because they know they still love sin, and because they know they’re wrong that Jesus will forgive them for it.
Anyway, I didn’t tell him any of that at the time, as our conversation was too short, and he was more interested in talking than listening, as all such protestant always are.
He did ask what I believe to be the gospel, which I’m convinced is a trap question which protestants tend to deploy in order to show off their superior Biblical knowledge (which he absolutely does not have in comparison with me) and win a little debate, for their own ego’s satisfaction.
“Christians” like him piss me off to no end.
I did tell him what I think it means to be a Christian though, that it meant sacrificing everything for the greater good.
Song of the Day
Last Kiss by Pearl Jam.
It’s a song of a man who lost his sweetheart in a car accident.
The narrator is quite a bit naive, but that gives it even more charm, and makes the tears flow even harder.