Written on January 12, 2026
The results
I'm writing this the next morning, and I wasn't paying very great attention yesterday. I was not really in the mood to do the survey, honestly. More about that later in this article, when I give my answer. (Spoiler: I felt too lonely and sad.)
Most people who answered are split between None and Kinda. They vastly outweigh those who are split between Very and 100%. I was very surprised. I thought there'd be fewer None and more Very. Could be selection bias, though. Maybe they felt too sad or afraid to answer.
As usual, I didn't ask many people to do the survey. I would just stand there, and hold the marker out. A few times I softly said "survey?" when I saw people whose answer I was particularly curious about. Most of them just kept walking.
This is the first survey where I used a pencil to try and space the letters properly. I didn't use a ruler though, I just eyeballed it, so it still turned out a bit weird. But it seemed better proportioned than before! Ruler next week.
Second time
This is a actually repeat of one of my very first surveys, back in mid October. Here's the original:
The proportions are different this time. I'm guessing it's because I've gotten better at surveys, and got more answers.
The interactions
I didn't write any of the interactions down immediately afterwards like I did before. Partly because it was so cold that my fingers were barely working. Also, two weeks ago, a group of three gang members tried to steal my phone. And last week, someone stole my joke sign and ran off.
One young woman who looked very sad in her eyes put two marks for 100%, telling me "it's 200%."
One young man who looked somewhat high, and both sad and angry in his eyes, drew a giant "100". It looks like he also crossed it off, but I don't remember that part.
In fact, almost everyone who put 100% looked very, very sad in their eyes. I really wanted to comfort them, but I couldn't do much. I told some that I felt the same way, I told some that I hoped it got better, and all left with an awkward goodbye. There's not much I can do.
One young woman with her friend did ask "what's the catch?" They felt very comfortable when I said that I would put any details people give in my book. Maybe I should put this info on the sign itself next time.
Two young women were across the street, and saw my sign, and after a little discussion, they turned to cross my way, literally crossing during a red light between cars, instead of the way they planned to cross. One told me she was convinced by the other to do the survey, because it's fun to do these kinds of social experiments. They said something like, it's not like now we can't go ice skating afterwards.
One woman, who had to be about 55 and had short hair, put None or Kinda, I forget which. She told me, "it's hard to feel alone with so much activism." She said a little more that I can't remember. To her, companionship apparently seems to mean having political solidarity.
One woman, who had to be about 65, passed me by, then stopped, turned around, and asked rather angrily, "what will you do with it?" After I answered, she again rather angrily said, "and then what?" After I said I would put the results in my book, she turned and walked off. I still have no idea what she could possibly have been so upset about.
One young woman was about to keep walking, but she glanced back at me once or twice. I could tell she would come over if I asked. So I said "survey?" and motioned to the marker, and she came over, smiling softly, and did the survey. She had such strong eye contact and a warm, soft smile. I didn't pay attention to what answer she marked down. If I was younger, I might have fallen in love.
One middle aged woman, who I think put None, told me that she liked a quote from a yogi who said "there is no other." I told her it reminded me of a quote from the philosopher Bill Hicks, not realizing she would recognize that name. I didn't tell her the quote, only that it was in the song Third Eye by Tool. I was glad she didn't realize my comparison was not a positive one. I was not at all in the mood to have a religious debate. She was all smiles too.
One young man put None, telling me that he moved here 6 months ago, and it can be lonely when you move to a new place, until you meet people and find the local drug supply. I guess to him loneliness means not having people to do drugs with. I suppose everyone's definition of friendship means having people who you can spend time with.
That's all I remember off the top of my head.
My answer
As I said above, I wasn't really in the mood to do the survey. Usually, when I do these surveys, one of my friends will show up, and we'll have a great conversation, and it brightens my whole week. I was hoping for that to happen all weekend, but I didn't run into a single one.
(On top of that, there was someone in particular I wanted to talk to, to clear up a misunderstanding from last week, where she seemed to depart thinking she had offended me. But she didn't. Oh well, maybe next week I can clear it up.)
So my answer was and still is 100%. I know nobody reads these articles, so I can safely be vulnerable here.
I know how to be charismatic. I'm very good at it. I know how to be the life of the party when my social battery is full. And I do have a lot of people that I used to kill time with. But we didn't have the same morals, and we never saw eye to eye on the deeper things of life. I've gradually spent less and less time with them. Now it's almost none.
I feel bad that I lied to a few people yesterday. A few groups of young men asked what my answer was, and I told them I didn't know, but I did. I just didn't want to talk to them about it.
One young woman, who was very friendly, began to ask me about my answer and why. I did tell her it was 100%. She asked why, and I said it's like that saying, you can be in a room full of people but still feel completely alone. She said "are you okay with it?" I said "yeah, you just get used to it." That was true, but only in the way Jesus meant it on his last night being mortal: please God, take this away from me; but if it has to be this way, then I accept it. I did not want to worry her, or burden her, by saying any of this. I wanted to focus entirely on the survey, and let the people behind her take it. And in truth, I am fine, I am okay with this burden. God helps me with it every day. It is heavy, but he makes it lighter somehow, I can't explain it.
This morning I prayed very sincerely, saying that if I had to pick one between wealth, friends, love, and sinlessness, I would choose sinlessness. After that, friends, and after that, love. But never wealth. I don't want wealth. I am old and tired. But I would like one true friend. Just one.
Epilogue
After the train ride home, after I got off the train, while I was listening to Around the Bay by Department of Eagles, waiting for the train to leave so I could get in my car, someone tapped me on the shoulder.
I turned around, and it was a young woman I knew, who I have absolutely nothing in common with. I immediately asked her if she ever heard of Department of Eagles. She said no, so I walked to my car. She followed and offered me some of her pizza. I asked if she wanted to hear the song, and she listened, and said it wasn't her style. I did not have any of her pizza.
It seems to me that, if you like any music, it says something about your personality. The style, the genre, the lyrics, all of it. And if someone else likes it too, for the same reasons, then you could be friends.
I've so far never met anyone who shared my taste in music.