Written on January 7, 2026
I very much do not want to become famous. This is part of why I have been avoiding creating social media. As a Catholic, I know that it's more God's choice than mine, and if he has a good reason, then he will make me famous. But if I can avoid it at all costs except sin, I will.
For one thing, fame tempts to pride and arrogance. I already struggle with not being humble enough. I already have a difficulty placing others above myself, even though I know it's just the truth. Add to that the admiration of crowds and fans, and it's a recipe for absolute self destruction. There's a fine line between confidence and pride. I'm trying to figure that line out.
But also, fame makes it hard to have genuine friends, or to fall in love knowing that it's sincere love, two goals I'm not actively seeking but somewhat open to. It's hard to know that people are after you for you and not for your money, connections, or other advantages. And even if they're not, often they love an idea of you, an idealized version of you, but not the real you.
I feel so bad for all the famous celebrities whose dating pools and potential friend groups have significantly shrunk because of their fame. I don't want that fate.
Another downside to fame that I only recently realized is that people recognize me but I don't recognize them. I am already very bad at remembering faces in general. But when I see a thousand faces per day, and interact with a hundred faces indirectly, and dozens of faces in personal conversations, they absolutely remember me, the weird looking guy holding a funny sign or survey out in Chicago. Which is why I feel so absolutely guilty and sorry when they later come up to me or pass me by, and say hi in a happy way, but I don't remember them, and their tone changes completely to disappointed. I also really don't like bearing false witness by pretending to recognize or remember them.
So overall, this guilt of not remembering people is very seriously making me reconsider doing signs. I'd like to continue, and I think God wants me to, but I would have to figure out a solution to this. If you have any ideas, please let me know in the comments.