Survey: Do you feel worthy of respect?

Written on February 15, 2026

The results

Rough counts:

Always wins! But again this could be selection bias and probably is. If a person does not feel worthy of respect at all or most of the time, they likely don't feel extroverted enough to participate in things.

I'm surprised honestly. I thought more people would put sometimes. Many people who put always were full of confidence. One young woman was on the fence but said she put always to manifest it.

A few people seemed willing to have discussions but I didn't ask why too many times this time. In large part because I had a cold and felt low energy and was having a fair amount of trouble thinking. Even as I write this on the train ride back, I'm feel really tired and having a hard time remembering much. So we'll have to make do.

The discussions

Five people put never. I only remember three. The first was a middle aged man who look like he had a hard life and made a lot of mistakes and was still dealing with the consequences of them. One was an unremarkable middle aged woman who was well dressed and seemed fairly ordinary, who I expected to put always or usually. One was a black teenage boy full of vitality who was with his friends.

One very friendly young woman who took my survey last week asked me what my answer was and I told her sometimes. She asked why, and I told her that I don't feel that I give as much value to the world as I would need to to deserve respect. She asked if I thought my surveys give that value and I said I don't know, that it seems ambiguous how much value I actually provide through them to anyone. She said that my survey last week, of whether the world needs you, was the first time anyone asked her that, and that she never thought of the question before that, and that she appreciated it, and that she thought about it all week. I forget what else she said but she gave me a little hug and said God bless you.

One high spirited old world woman with a walker, who was very talkative and friendly to everyone as she walked by, stopped and read my survey, and went on a little monologue to me about how everyone deserves it, and something about how ICE does not treat people with respect, and that we should all help one another.

One young woman who I've seen nearly ever survey since the day I started doing my surveys, and who never looked at me or my surveys (as far as I could tell--I try not to watch people or stare at them) finally glanced at my survey, smiled slightly, and told me her answer as she walked past, which I then marked down for her. It made my day. I do believe she said Sometimes. I didn't make the connection until later that it's the same answer as I put, or that it could have to do with why she never did my surveys before.

Some very high young people put Always and asked if they could sign it, and I told them to go for it, and about three of them signed it while two of their friends told them to hurry up because they got places to be. That was funny.

One young woman concluded there are levels to respect, and that she gives a basic level of respect to everyone and more as it's earned, and that she has lost respect for someone who was acting very disrespectful toward her and her friends over time, not taking the opportunities to earn or maintain it. Her and her friend put Always. She said that it someone loses her respect, she doesn't wish they were dead or anything, but that it's not her responsibility to help anyone through the problems they are going through that are preventing them from being reciprocatory in exchanging value properly in a friendship, especially when they are actively being disrespectful.

Two homeless men approached me and took my survey and put Always. This also made my day. I told a friend of mine that I valued their respect toward me more than anyone else's respect and that I didn't know why this was the case. But it's true. One of them (or both? I don't remember) said that you have to earn respect.

One person who I think put never (not one of the three mentioned above) said that it's because he has made a lot of mistakes.

One person said that moral faults or moral flaws make you not deserve respect. Another young man said he does not respect pedaphiles.

One person said it depends on the day. I fully agree with that, I varies a lot for me too based on moods and recent events. When I have a great day where I feel like I accomplished a lot of good, or a very productive day, I definitely feel like a boss.

Another young man I met last week, who I showed the song Sol and Luna by Joep Beving to last week, took the survey, and I saw him again after the survey and told him about the woman who put Never. He said it's got to be hard going through life like that, that you'd have to have the lowest self esteem ever, and I think he said it seems like a fate worse than death.

Afterwards, as I was posting the blog at McDonald's, I saw an acquaintance and asked his thoughts. He said "sometimes" and said it's because at work he puts in a good effort, and with relationships too, but he said "sometimes I have my head up my ass."

My thoughts

I agree that everyone is worthy of a basic level of respect just for being human. But I do think that every type of relationship requires an equal exchange of value for it to be mutual, at least over time. I think if a person doesn't see the value they have to offer others, they will not be able to offer it, or at least they won't be able to recognize when they have offered it, and so they will have a difficult time forming and maintaining healthy relationships of all types, whether in business or friendships or romance or family or anything. It seems to be important to recognize what we bring to the table, not in the sense of being overconfidently or arrogant, but simply seeing the situation in truth.

I do agree that moral flaws decrease the overall net value we give to society. It's difficult to separate that from the positive value we give, both in ourselves and in others. If we see a beautiful painting and fall in love with it but find out that the author was an alcoholic who verbally berated people, it can be difficult to stop loving the art. Society has double standards sometimes for people for this reason and excuses celebrities sometimes for possibly serious faults.

Another thing I noticed is that who I surround myself with does affect how worthy of respect I feel. (I think one person mentioned this, but I definitely forgot anything they said about it.) When I'm with people who I perceive to have more moral faults than me, or I remember more moral faults of theirs than mine, it definitely creates a confidence boost, perhaps disproportionately and undeservedly.