Written on May 1, 2026

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Surveys are back, and so am I! Did you miss me?

I took a month off to focus writing on my book. Part of why I do these surveys is to help get inspiration for the book. Part of it is to find different perspectives, and garner food for thought.

I’m writing this the next morning, and it was too cold to take notes (when is spring gonna get here???), so I might be forgetting some things.

Results

I actually counted them this time!

I started late so I ended late also, which I think affected the results. Early on, it was actually very imbalanced, with a mountain of Yes’s, and only 3 No’s. But as the night went on, a more people put Yes than No.

Song of the Day

I’ve been wanting to put a Song of the Day for a while, because I think music is the main way a culture speaks its heart.

“Finger deep within the border line. Show me that you love me, and that we belong together. Relax, turn around, and take my hand.”

Stinkfist by Tool makes me wonder if Romance is dying or dead.

Conversations

One woman said she would put Hell Yeah if it was an answer.

A few people who put No clarified that they think maybe it’s dead or dying, but they don’t want it to be, they want to believe in it. Eventually, after someone said that’s their answer, I started a column for it.

A few people said it’s not dead, but we have to do our part to keep it alive. Someone specifically said, everyone wants it to be there, but no one wants to put in the effort.

One man put an emphatic Yes, saying he was divorced for treating his wife right.

One business man, who had tears in his eyes, tallied Yes, and said he was recently divorced. He looked so sad. I told him things were going to get better.

One person said that romance is subjective, it means different things to different people. Two people independently said that holding a door open for a woman is an example of romance.

One young man came up to me, did the survey, and then asked me what I think about God. We got to talking, and he was from the Moody Bible school. While he was there, two women came up, did the survey, and he asked them about God. And they schooled him, with one of them bringing up Milton’s Paradise Lost and C. S. Lewis’s Screwtape letters. I was so proud of them.

One youmg man said that romance is dead because of hookup culture.

One man said it depends on what’s meant by romance, because there are living romance languages like French and Spanish. I mean technically he’s not wrong, I guess?

A small group of about 3 friends added the Raquel column and 15 votes for it. A few people asked about that column and decided to add their own set of 5 votes. Congratulations, Raquel, you are the #3 place answer of whether romance is dead.

Someone drew a cat. She drew a cat in a previous survey. It seems she’s the official cat lady of my surveys.

One drunk guy put “GAYS NO” and clarified to me that “for the gays, romance isn’t dead.” That would have been sooo misledaing and distracting to my survey, so I had to cross it off. Ugh.

My thoughts

Some people asked me whether I think romance is dead or not. I hadn’t thought about it much. The survey idea came to me, and I just ran with it.

I guess I agree that the meaning of romance is subjective, and if there are people trying to keep romance alive, then I suppose technically it’s not dead.

TODO: finish this part before Saturday evening!!!