Survey: Can Romantic Love Be Celibate Forever?

Written on October 5, 2026

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Results

About 2/3 of people say Yes, and only 1/3 say No.

There are two sides, worded slightly differently, because the first side, where it says “perpetually,” seemed confusing to people, who were saying Yes too easily. So I worded it simpler on the back.

Any time people asked to clarify, I said “nothing sexual, forever.” That changed a few minds: some who almost put Yes put No.

The little ad

Someone started the second column for No far too early, and by the time that side’s Yes column was full, I had a whole area empty on the right third of the poster. So I wrote a little ad asking to support my surveys.

Some people told me during this survey that they really like taking my surveys each week, and honestly I really like doing them, too.

But the surveys are mainly for my book now, and I’m almost done with the topics I planned, so I’ll be out of a reason to keep doing them soon.

And while I enjoy the company of people who take my surveys, very few people stop to talk to me for any period of time, far too few to make it worth doing surveys just for them.

The only other way I could justify the time it takes to do them is if I have cigars to smoke while doing the survey. But I no longer make enough money to afford cigars anymore. Sales from my last book have significantly declined this year. And the cigars I smoke last about 2-3 hours and are $11 each.

So if you like my surveys, and want me to keep doing them, feel free to send a dollar or two. I’ll keep doing surveys as long as I have a cigar to smoke.

Also, any financial sponsors can help me pick survey topics, although I can’t guarantee the topics will be used as-is.

To support my surveys:

• Venmo: @ChicagoSignGuy
• Cashapp: $ChicagoSignGuy

Demographics

I didn’t notice any patterns; it seemed entirely diverse. That said, I wasn’t paying very close attention.

Discussions

I didn’t ask anyone who put No, or anyone clearly in a hurry, for their in-depth answers. Some people volunteered theirs.

Someone made the point that if you’re too old for sex, you should still have the right to fall in love and marry.

Someone made the point that in places where it’s illegal or at least socially frowned upon to be in a homosexual relationship, such people have been celibate in secret relationships with each other.

Someone made the point that if you have sexual trauma, you might not want sex, but might still be in love.

Someone made the point that you may be an asexual person, that is, having no sexual desire, yet still feel romantic love.

Someone made the point that if your partner is disabled, or becomes disabled while together, you can still be in love with them.

One black man of about 60 who put No, said in a very vulgar way that he essentially can’t control himself, and that if he ends up sexually aroused, he can’t resist making love to his woman.

One person who put No asked, then what’s the point of a relationship?

One young woman who put Yes said, “it’s not for me, not my lifestyle, but it can be for someone else.”

One young man, who clearly goes to the gym, who seemed to be eastern European of some kind, probably an Orthodox Christian by his looks, put Yes, saying we are more than animals, and that love is higher than sexual pleasure. He added that he doesn’t drink anymore either, and that it took him a year to get his creativity back after he left his formerly hedonistic lifestyle.

A couple people misunderstood the question, and said Yes, but that it’s just platonic love.

A few people who walked by answered verbally saying “romantic love.” I have no idea what they meant, and I think they misunderstood the survey.

One young woman who takes my survey often, who seems to work somewhere nearby my spot, put No, saying sex deepens the connection. She said at some point in a relationship, she needs to “experience” the whole person.

One young woman at the McDonald’s in my hometown looked like she would have a thoughtful answer, because her aesthetic seems rather intentional, so I explained my book and asked for her answer. She said “I think it would be deeper.”

Inspiration

A few people asked what inspired the survey. Depending on the person, I gave different answers, all of them being true of course.

I almost didn’t do this survey, because I thought I would be the only Yes. And my Yes is entirely different from all the others, it’s one that nobody who took it has mentioned at all.

As a Catholic, I am required to believe that Joseph and Mary, the parents of Jesus, were voluntarily celibate for their whole lives, both before and after marriage, both having made vows of celibacy before marriage.

And I also choose to believe that they had the strongest romance, and the deepest love, humanly possible.

And I choose to believe that this type of romantic love is still possible today.

In the middle ages, many couples imitated this, and chose to take vows of celibacy after marriage.

So, in my ongoing search for a soulmate, I figured that I might find her this way. I thought everyone would put No, except me and perhaps one young woman, who would have the same reason.

I didn’t anticipate all the other reasons people had for maintaining a relationship in the face of celibacy, voluntary or not.

And, of course, I didn’t find my soulmate.

Song of the Day

It was a bit of a cop-out song. I couldn’t find any song fitting for the topic of voluntary celibacy, although The Celibate Life by The Shins has the word in the title, but that’s it.

So I wanted to pick a relatively obscure song that represented disillusionment with sex. I looked through my recent songs and found three:

• Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley
• Take Me To Church by Hozier
• Sweet Dreams by Marilyn Manson

The first two seemed too mainstream, and I like to share music people might not know. But I also didn’t look that hard, and I felt bad sharing a musician with bad morals.

Still though, I can’t think of another song for this.

I almost picked Desires are Almost Memories by A Winged Victory For The Sullen, which was a favorite of mine for like a month straight. I love it for its subtle intensity, which I think is a product of voluntary celibacy.

Now that I think about it, I should have picked that one.