Survey: How do you feel about God?

Written on September 19, 2026

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Results

There were much fewer results than there typically are. I think it’s for two reasons.

First, it’s wordier, more verbose. A good sign is short and sweet. Too busy, and people ignore it.

Second, and probably more importantly, it’s blatantly religious in nature. Generally, people with such a sign would be preaching or “evangelizing”, typical sickening Protestant behavior, and a deeply flawed misunderstanding, as true evangelization is simply being good. There are almost no good people in the world, so the few that become good will stand out like lamps, and draw people to them, and greatly enrich life like salt does to food. That’s my goal, hopefully one day I can become good.

Demographics

The majority of people who put 😍 where black and mexican. The remainder were white women. My theory is that it’s because their cultures highly emphasize being devoted to your mother, and their mothers’ primary advice is to love God above everything.

Most of the young counter-cultural people voted 🙂, which surprised me very much. I expected them to put 👿, ☹️, or 😐. A few of them did put 😐, but a minority. I don’t remember any of them putting 😍.

Song of the Day

Someone pointed out that I forgot to add a “song of the day” and said he’s coming back later and better see one, lol.

So I added Judith, by A Perfect Circle.

One young woman who took the survey said she loves A Perfect Circle and is listening to it right now.

I told her that the Judith music video was directed by the guy who directed Fight Club, and that it’s my favorite music video of all time.

I forgot to ask what song she was listening to. I’ve rarely met anyone who’s heard of A Perfect Circle. I hope to see her again.

Conversations

I didn’t really ask anyone “why?” if they put either 🙂 or 😍, only if they put other answers.

The first person to put 😐 was a guy who said he only did it to encourage others to.

A couple people asked what my answer is, and I motioned to 👿, and one of them said, “you’ll get there,” or something to that effect.

One young woman I met a year ago rehashed some points she made back then, basically that she’s not personally religious, but that she’s not anti-religious either, and sees the benefit in it for people.

One woman who put 🙂 said she believes in many gods, and she is fine with people believing in whatever they want.

The old man

A security guard who works nearby, who I’ve talked to many times, an older man of about 60 or so, and clearly of not much proper education, came by me three times to talk to me.

The first time, he came to tell me that nobody wants to know the truth, and that the truth is a well hidden secret, but that the truth is that there is no god, and that we are all god, or rather that god is within each of us. He said that the more you research history, the more you will come to agree with him.

He said that religions are all just businesses. I said I agree that many are, but not Catholicism.

He hinted at some history about the Vatican, and said that NIV and the King James Bible were the two main translations of the Bible. When I brought up the original Greek manuscripts, he said “well the Greeks didn’t know anything, either.” I had to explain that it was Jews who wrote in Greek. (Though there’s some evidence that St. Peter was Greek.)

The second time, he came by and repeated these points, but more briefly, and left.

The third time, he came by and changed his tone. He said he’s decided not to try to change anyone’s mind, hinting at the idea that some people need to believe, and that he doesn’t want to take that away from them.

I asked how confident he is that he’s right, and he said he would die for his beliefs.

I asked if anything could ever change his mind, and he said absolutely not, he’s learned too much. I deeply pity such a closed-minded perspective.

The young man

A young man approached, wearing a blue germ mask. He joined my conversation with the young woman that I had met a year ago. She soon after left.

He said no answer was fitting, and looked up an emoji. Eventually he found 😔 and showed it to us. I asked why, and he said it’s because of all the bad things done in the name of religion.

He warned me that I would not get as many answers, because many people will assume I’m selling or preaching something. I told him I had already considered that, and was fine with it.

I asked why he wears a mask, and he said it’s because he has the common cold, and didn’t want to spread it. I asked if it was really his responsibility to protect everyone, pointing out that sicknesses strengthen our immunities, which is why I never try to avoid getting sick, and that people at serious risk would protect themselves extra. He said he never thought about it before. I asked if he would take off his mask now, seeing as he seemed like the kind of person who acts on principle, and seeing as he didn’t seem to disagree with any of my points. He soon took off his mask, which I said would definitely be in my book. But later, he put it back on. I asked why, but don’t remember his answer. I think he said he just felt more comfortable this way. I asked if he does it partly to hide himself, and he said yeah. I told him I wear sunglasses when I’m in a bad mood for the same reason. He said it’s also why he wears the clothing he does.

He asked what my answer is, and I pointed to 👿, and he asked why. I think he was the only person to ask why.

I told him it’s because I’m Catholic but I get angry at God, because he created me with desires that can’t be fulfilled right now. I added that I can’t find a woman who wants to be a celibate girlfriend. He asked if unmarried kissing was a sin, and I said only if it was passionate and led to sex. He asked if unmarried cuddling was a sin, and I said of course not, it would be so great.

He asked what sect of Christian I was in, and I said I was Catholic. He said he was raised to be somewhat religious, but never really was.

He asked more questions about love. Eventually we got to the topic of homosexuality, and he was familiar with every Biblical verse I mentioned. I asked if he knew the Bible well, and he said only verses on homosexuality.

He said he was having a hard day, because he woke up from a terrifying zombie dream, and couldn’t remember the password to his laptop. At some point he mentioned he smokes weed.

My thoughts

I’m split half and half. Half the time I’m 👿 and the other half 😍, almost nothing between.

When I feel that I have no purpose, then my heart wanders around, looking for something to latch onto, whether food or relationships or games. Eventually, these disappoint me, and I become angry at God because nothing seems to satisfy me, and my soul screams at him, “why have you made me this way!?”

But when I accept reality for what it is, and accept the purpose I was given by God within the limitations that came with my life, my burnout goes away, my restlessness is cured, and I stop seeking happiness in everything else except for fulfilling my purpose. And I find such joy in that fulfillment, that I fall more and more in love with God.

As I mentioned above and in previous articles, one of the things I wanted was a relationship, but one that is both romantic and celibate, since I don’t plan to get married any time soon, and sexuality is forbidden outside of marriage.

When I’m restless, this frustrates me, in the original sense of the word frustrate, that is, my plan is thwarted, or frustrated, by God, who does so to protect me from calamities, and to help set me back on the path to my true happiness.

That said, I don’t think it’s entirely off the table. When I thought I needed it for my happiness, God prevented it. But now that it would be an optional nice thing, and considering it could help me understand love better, which would definitely be a huge help in writing my book, I think God is more likely to allow me to find such love.